I’ve been thinking about age… a lot.  It started taking space in my mind when I turned 35 in April of 2020 (which if you’ve blocked it out, was THE HEIGHT of the pandemic) when all we had was time to think; about our relationships, families, careers, how to keep sane, the meaning of life, whether we were where we thought we’d be at the moment, you know, small, innocuous things.  

My sister and I debated if 35 was a milestone year.  I personally think it is and I’m curious if others do too.  Maybe its due in part to the season 4 premiere episode of Sex and the City in 2001, “Agony and the Ex-tacy” in which Carrie’s 35th birthday party is a bust as she declares that she is 35, single and alone in the saddest realization.  Then Charlotte, truly my favorite, jumps in with her sweet optimism to suggest that maybe the 4 of them are soulmates and men are just there to have fun with.  I mean, a prophet, truly that Charlotte.   

I wonder if for everyone, there’s an age on the horizon that makes you clutch at your pearls with a touch of doom upon its pending arrival: like age 25 when you’re in high school; age 30 when you’re finishing college and experiencing true responsibility and 40 when… well let’s not go there right now.  Looking back at 25 (who even remembers that time) and 30 (honestly so so young), we make them to out to be such a big deal, a timeline marker of such significance but then there’s usually another one right around the corner so, does worrying about it do us any good?  Over the past few years I’ve been working on loosening my attachment to age and the meaning that I, by way of society, have associated with it.   That doesn’t mean the occasional bout of anxiety doesn’t creep up but I appreciate that there’s more dialogue around rejecting that there’s one acceptable timeline and we’re all on it.   My favorite influencer, Chrissy Ford, recently made a post about a follower asking if 30 was too late to move to a new city… (LOLs) and I loved both her response and tone: too late according to who?  As someone who shares the same “big” age as Chrissy (38), I smirked in recognizing my own tendency to get worked up and roll my eyes when my younger friends comment on how old they are or things they haven’t accomplished yet. (Loves you’s!)

I went to the Renaissance Tour in New Orleans then a few days after landing in Paris, I went by myself to see Usher who did a two-week stint of his Vegas residency show there.  To say I was filled with immense joy is an understatement but with the idea of age and what it means taking up space in my mind, I couldn’t help but also think about their age while reflecting on what I’d just witnessed.  Usher is 45.  Beyonce is 42.  And its inarguable that they both are not only at the height of their career but they continue to raise the bar for themselves: Usher performing the halftime show at the Super Bowl; Beyonce releasing Cowboy Carter (cue “Levii’s Jeans”) despite having entertainment careers spanning over 25 years.  To be clear, it’s not that I think its all downhill after 40 (I don’t!!) but I’d be lying if I said, as I approach 40 next year, I have not affected by what I’m calling “Timeline of Life Conditioning.”  It’s comforting to see they are both still continuing to reach amazing heights in their respective careers and lives; a reminder that life can only get better with age if you allow it.  Truth be told – a lot of change has happened over the past 2 months since I’ve been back in New York from my time off and I’ve never felt more physically good in my body and optimistic for what’s to come.